Punctuation- Day 296 (October 25th, 2021)

When you're trans, most people will only now focus on that about you. It's immediately definable and puts you in a category labelled 'I don't need to hear anymore'. Though we all have stories of how we reached this point, for most people trans is viewed as the beginning and the end. It is an island of a destination, separate from the established lands and will forever be treated that way.

Male. Female. Other. Trans fit as Other, but how Other is seen is like scraps or shavings left behind. Our existence isn't seen as legitimate. People would rather you toil in the defined genders. It's what they understand. It's what they can accept. So even though the defined gender of birth is killing you, leaving it behind is a death sentence all its own. 

When you tell people this is who you've always been, they then question if anything was real about you before. Was everything fake? Was everything a show?

No. But everything was two dimensional: a simpler, less detailed version of what could have been far more memorable. Everything was viewed from a place of permanent discomfort and aimless attempts to be okay in this unfair and puzzling reality. If an author was telling my story from then to now, the difference would simply be in punctuation: 

He smiled...

She smiled. 

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