The In-Between of Transition- Day 122 (May 2nd, 2021)

I am deficient of main, functioning components. In social situations, I slink inside myself. When meeting new people, I feel two inches tall and wholly unequipped. With men I feel inferior; with women I feel like an imposter. I don't fit anywhere really. I never have.

Right now, I am fighting the desire to grow back my beard, cut my hair, and just disappear back into my expected role. The in-between of transition is easily the hardest. At least, I have to imagine it is. When comparing myself against other men, I seem less and less like them. And when comparing myself against women, I feel awkward, frumpy, and like I'll never belong in the same room, let alone a similar or neighboring category.

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