Try on Something New- Day 120 (April 30th, 2021)

Male clothes take on the weirdest identity when transitioning. You still have those go-to shirts you wore when presenting as a man but many of them no longer make it into your weekly ensembles, maybe not even monthly. Instead, you'll come to some point where you are cleaning up your room and realize that you are truly between both genders right now. You can't get rid of old shirts because you are still presenting as a man a lot of the times but you also don't have the same attachment to them as before. 

Sure, some will come with you on the journey, maybe find they are now on the receiving end of a DIY project to convert mens shirts to womens shirts. And that's about it.

Just like when I was still trying to live as Nathan, when in the midst of my day to days, wearing those very shirts, I desired to be wearing something prettier and less boxed in. And now that I wear prettier things, I look back at those old shirts with a bittersweet quality. I look at them much in the same way I look back at living life as Nathan: there were good times but very little of it was from a place of confidence or happiness. And just like those shirts, I'm ready to pack away the old to try on something new.


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