Church is Rarely a Godly Place- Day 76 (March 17th, 2021)

Church is rarely a Godly place... I think about my mom and dad as a perfect example. When I was growing up, we were at the church whenever the doors were open. Volunteering. Participating. Helping build whatever they were trying to build. My parents were staples of the church.

As I've discussed previously, mom and dad had a terrible marriage overall. Dad, abused pretty much daily as a child, was still just a hurt little boy trying to be heard. And he yelled and yelled and yelled. Probably because he had to be so quiet as a child. He was too damaged to function. And his damage, damaged everyone else around him. The spores of mold come to mind. The poison that was on him spread to everyone in our family. He reduced my mom, a lively, adventurous, outside the box spirit, to someone who finds solace most in being alone, someone who's been torn to ribbons, someone who gave her very best and was only ripped apart for it. This was the reality of their marriage, the reality of my parents. When it finally came out that dad had this issue, the church, a place they had poured their lives into, turned their backs on them. It was just too dirty, too hard to comprehend. If the church is a reflection of Christ, then the church has told the world that Jesus is a coward, afraid of the dirty things, the cobwebs in the attic, the shadows we hide in. The church turned their backs instead of doing the loving thing and embracing them, maybe helping my dad get into some kind of counseling for what was obviously severe PTSD from his childhood, maybe look at his history and see that he was a bleeding wound in desperate need of cauterization. Instead, as is true of most churches, as soon as the chips fall and they see those dirty places, suddenly you are too dirty for them, and too dirty for God. 

I am not interested in the opinions of church people. Most have the heart of pharisees and would call for Christ's death even today. I grew up believing that my brothers and sisters in Christ are found in the church. But I have found far more genuine hearts are in communities churches turn away from, which is a truly sad thing. 

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