The Benefits of Broken People- Day 18 (January 18th, 2021)

My wife and I are both badly broken people. And though our brokenness has probably broken each other further in some ways, it's also the thing that makes us never give up on each other. Though I wouldn't necessarily recommend a broken person go search for another broken person, I can say the benefits of it is in being able to trust your partner and know that they will fight for your relationship long past that of most other people.

If you think of a person like a jar, some people are in much better condition than others. For those of us who have had life chip away and break off pieces, much of our life is spent on trying to repair, about trying to glue pieces back in place. So when you have two people who are broken, you can't always be who you need them to be or who they need you to be. They may start the process of gluing pieces back on themselves while you're already doing the same. Both preoccupied with self repair, it's easy for the relationship to start to fracture. I wouldn't recommend this for everyone. Though it can be hard, there is still a very genuine and almost unbreakable connection when you are married as broken people. We don't easily let people in to begin with, so when you finally do, you fight for them and they fight for you.

My transitioning is almost my version of going back into the kiln. Instead of devoting so much time from my life to try and glue pieces back to myself, I'm instead kind of reshaping who I am, maybe filling in some of the holes and some of the the weak spots. I understand that my decision to transition is tough for my wife who married me as her husband and I understand that there's no guarantees that it will still work. But I can tell you with quite a bit of certainty that if I were married to somebody who isn't as devoted and trustworthy and so full of love that I probably already would have seen my marriage end. I'm a broken person married to a broken person and I know that even though it can be very difficult at times, it can also give lasting rewards and it can give you a partner who is truly in it for the long haul.

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