9 Months- Day 270 (September 30th, 2021)

Nine months today. I haven't regretted this decision for one moment. At times I have taken pause simply because of the enormity of it all. But I've never once truly considered stopping. 

You see, Nathan was this, technically still alive, dead thing. So my process of shedding him has been the process of something you'd see in nature. For creatures that shed skin, they often have to use their environment to help the process, meaning it is often uncomfortable. But discomfort with a purpose has a different feeling. 

In the last week or so I have started to really shed my skin in a more permanent way. At work, my nails are always painted and my hair is styled in more feminine ways. I wear headbands that have animal print on them and care very little how I am perceived. 

I've never been a popular person. Though I feel I have a unique, quirky personality, few people connect with it. At my personal peak of popularity, I had a record breaking two friends. Now I am down to one. This simply means I've learned not to need a lot of people and that I can't rely on many.

These 270 days and counting have been about letting go of that dead person and preparing to live my life as the person I've always been. Nine months is just the start to this journey. Hopefully the next nine are far more kind physically. 

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