A True Picture of Desperation- Day 202 (July 22nd, 2021)

I have been tossed away many times in my life. Since coming out as transgender though, that feeling has taken on a different context. I'm not heartbroken by it. I'm not even all that bothered. As I've stated previously, I was pretty much a dead body still alive and in my head I had already started to check out and let go of everything important to me. 

If I had continued the way I was going, I would have taken my life. And I imagine today, and shudder at the thought, that it would have been in some quick, regrettable, messy way. It would have probably come at the end of another damaging marital spat. It would have been a true picture of desperation and not knowing what else to do. It would have been in a way, that, worst of all, my children would later realize was absolutely senseless and pointless and they would always wonder what could have been done differently to keep me with them...

This... Transitioning... This is what (could have been and) has been done and I'm better in every possible way because of it. I have come back to life and not only can envision being an integral part of their futures, but can also finally envision my future.

So, yes, I've been thrown away by some. But those who love me and accept me as Vaela Kay are the treasures in my life; the rest are...

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