Female in Public- Day 108 (April 18th, 2021)

What I haven't really talked about yet is presenting as female in public. I do it comfortably around my wife and daughters but once away from these 4 safe walls, I'm terrified. Some may see it and say, "Well that makes sense" or "I'm not surprised". Others will probably say, "You're gonna make an ugly woman. Why do this to yourself?"

I think it's interesting that people base authenticity on how you ultimately look. Yeah, of course in the beginning I look like a man in women's clothing. My body was programmed to follow a certain template. Undoing a lot of that with pills isn't an overnight process. And ultimately, I'd take 'ugly woman' over 'miserable but average looking man'.

There are movements out there meant to put our struggles in a broad spectrum light, but the intracacies and differing of details is where you find real humans just trying to be okay in their skin. Obviously when all is said and done I hope Vaela is who people see when they look at me. I know we're not even close to that point yet but I'm hopeful that every day is bringing me closer. 

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