Baggy Clothing- Day 100 (April 10th, 2021)

A common question people seem to ask trans women early on is if they plan on getting plastic surgery later on. My feeling is this. I want to be as authentic as I can and my hope and desire and daily prayer is that I develop in those ways without surgery. 

I hope my face changes just enough that I read female and don't need ffs. I hope my body, through the magic of those little pills, gives me the chest I've always wanted. None of my hopes are flashy or to stand out but to instead blend in better.

The only people that can understand gender displacement are those who experience it. At all times, our skin is a piece of clothing that doesn't fit right. When you look around and see people in your assigned-at-birth gender, most look like their skin is tailor fit to them. They are comfortable as they are and present it with confidence. It flows from them, much in the same way the right outfit makes a person exude confidence and self assurance.

So, when you flip it, the opposite happens. Baggy clothes immediately affect all levels of confidence. No matter how old you are, you feel small and unprepared, a kid in a world of adults, if you will.

I'm on day 100 of wearing a skin that fits. And I've found that it has affected my confidence in the best ways, because I'm no longer pretending to blend in with those in my assigned gender but instead have started to let my expressions be who I am. There is a real feeling of freedom in that, throwing out the always baggy suit for a tailored dress.  


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