A Different Kind of Dad- Day 27 (January 27th, 2021)

It's a boy!

The ultrasound revealed it today. After two daughters and a belief that I'm better suited to raise girls, God in all His infinite wisdom has gifted us a little boy. My wife is over the moon; I'm happy while hesitant. Society has taught that boys need fathers. The church has put a great deal of importance on the male role, it being the head of the family and a God ordained position.

My son needs me. He needs me to teach Him about Jesus and to guide him through the sharp turns life will inevitably include. He needs me to be there when he's scared or hurt or not sure how to handle a situation. He needs me to fill every role a father fills, but he doesn't need me to be a father in the traditional sense. Because in the traditional sense, I was miserable and mean and a rain cloud. And in the traditional sense, my life was quickly heading for the cliffside. And, quite honestly, in the traditional sense I probably wouldn't have made it far into my thirties.

What if my father had been a less traditional male but a more present parent? What if he even had been like me, a woman in a man's body? Though I can't picture it, I think I still would have preferred an authentic parent who brought peace to my life instead of strife, stable ground instead of teetering on the edge, confidence instead of insecurity.

As Vaela I can be the parent to him that I needed. As Nathan, I will be dangerously close to the same kind of father that had a big hand in breaking me apart.